Shades of Gray
by Andivia
Summary: Did you ever wish that life was more interesting? I did. Then I got blown up, and now things have started to get really interesting. But then I really should have expected something like this, it was way too coincidental to wake up with a sibling named Issei Hyuudou.
1. Prologue

Alright, author note. This is a new idea of mine, my very first self insert. Because why not?

Anyway I debated when to start this story off, and decided to start with DxD canon. This chapter will just be about five hundred words summing up the situation. I suppose you can say that the real story starts next chapter.

It was either this, or three to five disjointed chapters detailing how I got to be where I am. If there's enough interest I'll write those little stories up separately.

Since this is a self insert I feel as though I should mention that any names, dates, locations etc. have been changed in order to protect both myself and the people I know, because yes I'm a soldier and that means that there are plenty of people that would use my real details to remove my head.

Other than that, please read, enjoy and review.

End author note.

* * *

Ever had deja vu? That feeling that you've done something before? I've been getting that a lot these past seventeen years. I know there are some pretty big differences between the UK and Japan, but enough of the experience is close enough for me to get it real bad.

I probably should have expected that, I mean this isn't the first time I've turned seventeen. Though if you count past experience I'm about forty right now.

Confused? Good. I was too. Can you imagine setting off an explosive, losing an arm and a leg, bleeding out in the middle of nowherresville and then waking up as a new born baby? I couldn't until it happened, some days I kinda wish I hadn't experienced it at all.

I should probably start from the beginning, shouldn't I? I'll try to keep it short. My name is Isao Hyoudou, formerly Lance Corporal Smith. Soldier of the British army for about four years starting right after college. I died. I got better. I don't know if it was divine intervention, I was never all that religious to start with, but that was enough for me to start believing in something. And then things got weird.

You see I'm not an only child, I now have a twin brother named Issei. Yeah, I thought he was a weird character to name your kid after as well. Then I met Irina Shidou, of course that's just two names; it's not like two coincidental names can mean anything. When I got my hands on the sword Irina's family were taking care of though, well when that sword started fucking with the laws of physics I couldn't exactly keep my head buried under the sand any longer. Best to assume the worst, I'm stuck in anime world; Highschool DxD would be a good guess, meaning there were some seriously bad things around the corner. So what did I do when I realised that there really might be things that go bump in the night? The same thing I did before I died, I signed up with the guys that bump back. Not as an official member though, there's no way I would have been able to convince my family to accept that; they don't actually know about it yet, so I'm pretty much a freelance knight\exorcist. After the local church church closed down I continued my little training regime with the old padre, he was a retired exorcist himself so he didn't particularly mind helping. Fast forward a few years and I've managed to confirm that I am indeed stuck in the dxd world, as well as collecting a few scars before high school. Which is where I am now.

That's about as short as I can make my story. Of course, all of that's just the prologue. The real story is yet to come.


	2. Chapter One

Here's the author note.

And so the story actually starts. Feel free to leave any and all comments you guys want. I welcome all criticism that amount to more than "you suck, stop writing."

Wit that out of the way, as always please read, enjoy and review.

End author note.

* * *

I was starting to enjoy school life again. I'd never really been able to appreciate it the first time around, I always just wanted to be somewhere else. But as I sat in the shade under a tree, looking out over at the Kendo club, I couldn't help but relax and let a feeling of peace come over me. School is a breeze when you've already covered everything they teach.

Of course the peace couldn't last. Not even a minute after I settled down for a quick nap in the shade, all hell broke loose around the back of the Kendo club. I didn't even need to see it, I just rubbed my face with my palm in resignation. There was no helping it, I'd have to step in. So I was forced to abandon my peace and quite, no doubt to dispense justice on my foolish little brother.

Well, technically we're twins. But as I jogged around the corner it was fairly easy to see why I always called him 'little'. I was at least an inch taller than him, and I actually had muscles. Not massive rippling ones, but they were definitely there while Issei definitely had none. A difference between lifestyles I guess, I held on to quite a lot of my old army routine. Like the fitness training. Issei could have probably done with some of that, maybe if he had taken me up on my offer to help him he wouldn't be surrounded by the female half of the Kendo club.

I couldn't really allow them to beat him up though, call it an older sibling's protective instinct. Either way I brushed past most of the Kendo team in time to catch a brown haired girl's shinai mid-swing. "Sorry, my little brother's kind of an idiot. Do you mind if I take care of him Murayama-san?" The action startled Murayama, if the squeak was anything to go by, but she managed to glare at me after a moment. "You're not getting him out of this, Isao-san. We caught him peeping on us just a moment ago." I nodded, but didn't release the shinai despite her attempts to pull it away. "I'm not here to get him out of trouble. But a little beating isn't going to do a thing. Let me take a crack at him." She just looked at me suspiciously. I smiled, she gave me a suspicious look as she handed over the shinai. In the background, Issei whimpered. He knew he wasn't getting off lightly.

Taking a couple of steps past Murayama, I held out my hand to help Issei up. He hesitantly took it, squeaking out a word that sounded something like 'mercy' as I pulled him to his feet. He would be very disappointed. "You know Issei, I think we already talked about this. I remember telling you how ticked off I'd be if this happened again." I wanted to use less polite language to describe my level of annoyance, but I was far too conscious of the crowd around us to say exactly what was on my mind. "Ahaha, this is all a big mistake Isao. I wasn't peeping. Honest!" I took the denial in stride. "It wasn't through lack of trying though, was it?" Issei has the worst poker face ever. The guilty look was better than any confession could have been. I checked my watch before placing the shinai on my shoulder. "Alright Issei, we've got about half an hour before we need to get going. For your punishment, how about a nice jog?"

You know, it was funny hearing the outraged shouts alongside Issei's terrified expression. He obviously knew exactly what I was going to be making him do. I made sure to clarify it for the girls. "We should be able to make five miles, right?" That shut them up. Without any sort of magical assistance, I could make five miles in under half an hour easy. Issei could barely manage two miles before he wanted to just drop down and die.

Well it wouldn't be much of a punishment if he enjoyed it.

So after dragging a very unwilling Issei down to the track, with a little bit of encouragement from the shinai, we spent the next half an hour running. At my pace for the most part. If Issei dropped back I'd give him a good thwack on the ass. It took less than ten minutes for the Kendo girls to decide that I really was being serious about punishing Issei, they stuck around to watch until about the fifteen minute mark. I think they felt sorry for him at that point. I didn't. Not that I particularly cared about him peeping, he's a teenager and would hopefully grow out of it, but I specifically told him not to get caught. Because him getting caught leads to me having to bail him out. In the end we didn't quite manage the five miles, Issei just couldn't run anymore after the fourth, so we started heading back home. Issie complained about demonic punishments as soon as he had the breath to speak. Just another normal day.

Of course it couldn't last. We were walking back home, just about to pass the bridge, when I felt a burning sensation against my chest. That would be one of my necklaces, a Saint Christopher necklace, which I had turned into a kind of supernatural warning alarm. It basically started to heat up when we were close to something that gave off any kind of supernatural power. A handy little thing, also pretty nostalgic. I wore one just like it before I died. And this one was giving me a heads up to something that might make me die again.

From that moment, I was on high alert. I didn't actually have any of my equipment with me, no handguns or rune enhanced outfit. I did however have my rifle stored in something akin to a pocket dimension, magic way out of my league to set up but I was good enough to pull my rifle out and put it back in. That wouldn't help me against an opponent that could fly though.

As luck would have it, the person making my necklace act up wasn't interested in killing me. She looked to be a seventeen year old girl, and to be completely honest she was in the top ten girls I'd seen in real life. With long black hair, violet eyes and a body to die for. I immediately disliked her. Because before she even opened her mouth, I remembered who she was. Yuuma Amano. Raynare. Whatever name she used, she'd be the one to kill Issei Hyuudou. But somehow, she managed to look so damn innocent right now. If I didn't already know her, I'd never guess her intentions.

She actually managed to look shy when she walked up to me and Issei... Then again I'm not really very good at seeing past deception, hell sarcasm goes over my head half the time. "Ah, excuse me." That's just not fair, evil fallen angels are not allowed to also have cute voices. "Could I please speak with Issei-san for a little while?" Issei let out a surprised 'eh', I flinched. Not because of what she said, my other necklace zapped me. A silver cross, it was meant to warn me if someone was trying something supernatural against me. It was a pain in the neck (ha, I made a pun) when angry devils are throwing fireballs at me, but invaluable when they try to read my mind or influence me. A quick zap can break subtle stuff pretty easily. The caster doesn't even notice if they're being sloppy, which Raynare was.

Despite that, I still left them to it. With a quick wave and a "see you later Issei" I was gone.

Why?

Because I wasn't going to get involved. His story would have a happy ending without me, I just needed to have enough strength to survive being related to him. Even if Raynare kills him, it'll work out. So I walked away. I walked past the bridge, I walked past the fountain, I walked past the park where I used to play with Issei as a kid. I kept walking. Ignoring everything around me. Even the pain in my tightly clenched hands, and the feel of something wet dripping between my fingers.

I made my decision years ago. I wasn't going to change it.

...Even if Issei Hyuudou had become more than just a character in that time.

The rest of the week was tense. I didn't get any offers to join the athletics clubs again, there where none of the sarcastic comments I had expected about Issei getting a girlfriend before me. Instead I had about a dozen people asking if I was alright. I must have a worse poker face than Issei. I managed to get through it without any issues though.

It was the end of school on Friday, finally. Today was the day when I could finally worrying about it, because after today I wouldn't be able to stop it. I just had to sit back and do nothing.

Just sit at home and read a book.

While Issei goes on a date and gets murdered.

While my Brother has his heart torn in two and bleeds out on the floor.

...

You know, I didn't have many regrets when I first died. Just two, really. That I never could say goodbye to my family, and that I hadn't always done the right thing. When I was a lot younger, I would see people being bullied or beaten up; and when I saw that I would just walk away. Because I wasn't strong enough to help. Because I was afraid of getting hurt.

But I wanted to do the right thing. I've always been the kind of guy that would pick up a lost phone and try to find the owner. I always try to help people because... well it's the right thing to do, isn't it?

I promised myself I'd always do what I thought was right, with this new chance at life.

So it wasn't unusual for me to grab my handguns.

It wasn't bad for me to be wearing my rune enhanced leather battle outfit.

It was right for me to be leaving the house, heading for that fountain where it would happen.

Because Issei Hyuudou isn't just some character in an anime.

He's my little Brother.

And it would be wrong for me to abandon him, just to help a stupid story along.

So I walked out the door, throwing on all of the things that I had never shared with my new family. I looked quite like an exorcist, with my white cloak hiding all but my boots. The steady thump of those boots was comforting. But it wasn't fast enough. My impatient led to those thumps growing faster and faster, until they were practically beating in time with my heart. I had no idea how long I had. So I had to get to the fountain as quickly as possible.

It occurred to me for a moment that it was pretty convenient that A, the date in both the light novel and anime finished at a fountain and B, there is only one fountain in the area. It made finding the area child's play. It also meant that I knew the fastest way to get there. After planning out my route, I picked up my speed to a full sprint.

It took minutes to get there. Reaching the edge of the treeline, I drew a pair of non-reflective black long-barrelled revolvers from holsters on my waist. Not the most practical weapons, but they were heavy enough to do some damage in a melee and durable enough to keep firing afterwards. I expected the worst when I burst from the trees, I expected to be too late. So as soon as I passed the treeline I glanced right, nothing. So Issei and Raynare must be left. Rather than make myself an easy target by just turning, I instead dove down into a shoulder roll; then brought myself up into a crouched firing position aiming left...

And scared the crap out of some random bystanders. Great... This is why I can tell I'm not the main character. The main character would have arrived either just on time or just a little late. Not before the thing had even started. I was pretty sure I hadn't missed the whole thing though, there's no way that in the less than half hour it took to get here Rias would have had the time to revive Issei, clean up the blood and get him back home. Well actually she could, but I'm not even going to consider that. Because that would mean I waited too long and let my Brother die. I won't let that happen.

So with a pretty heavy sigh I resigned myself to my least favourite job from the Army. Stag duty, basically sitting in the mud waiting for something to happen. Oh joy. At least those bystanders would probably just assume I was some kid playing with fake guns. People tend to rationalise anything they can't understand.

Without delay I slipped back into the treeline. I had no idea how long I'd need to wait, but I did know that this white cloak would not be helping my camouflage. So I took it off, folded it and placed it behind a large tree. What? The best way to clean kit is to not get it dirty in the first place. After taking it off my more useful kit was easily seen. It looked somewhat similar to the uniforms worn by Vatican holy sword wielders. Only more practical. Mine was not solid black, it was grey, brown and black in a multi-terrain pattern. Mine also was not meant to highlight certain areas, it went from my collar right down to my ankles and wrists. It also had a row of pouches attached to the the waist which could be removed and numerous loops around the front and back of the shoulders and chest. The pouches could easily store grenades or holy water vials, in fact I had a few vials in them now, but the loops were meant for camouflage or to help someone else drag me off the battlefield if need be. To top it off it also had two quick draw holsters at the waist and a combat knife just above and behind the right holster. It was basically a combat outfit crossed with military webbing. I didn't bother sticking any grass or anything in the loops for camouflage though, I just jumped behind a bush and waited. So long as I was listening in I'd be able to recognise Issei's voice and my necklace would warn me about Raynare.

That didn't do anything to dull the mind numbing boredom. My mind started to wander after ten minutes, so I started reciting a prayer over and over again to give me focus.

"Lord, I ask for courage. Courage to face and conquer my own fears... Courage to take me where others will not go." Twenty minutes. "I ask for strength... Strength of body to protect others.. Strength of spirit to lead others." Thirty minutes "I ask for dedication... Dedication to my job, to do it well... Dedication to my country, to keep it safe." Forty. "Give me Lord, concern... For those who trust me and compassion for those who need me." Fifty. "And please Lord... Through it all be at my side."

My chest began to burn before I heard the words "it sure was fun today." I instantly knew it was Raynare and Issei. I also almost blew my cover from leaping right out and shooting at her, only the thought of how I'd explain to Issei why I jumped out and started shooting his girlfriend made me pause. So I just sat there and listened. Right up until she said "Will you die for me?"

I stood, slowly. Making sure that I made no sound as I drew a single revolver. Then methodically built up a firing position so that there was absolutely no chance I would miss. I wanted to end this with a single shot, so I took my time, waiting until the last moment. I brought my left leg forward as she said "it was fun, the short time I spent with you. It was like playing house with a little child." I brought my foot down to make my position as stable as possible and...

*snap*

Broke a bloody twig. Raynare's head snapped to the side, she was still wearing the dress she had during the date as opposed to her bondage gear, she saw me instantly and immediately condensed light into her palm in the shape of a spear.

I of course started firing, three shots in rapid succession before rushing forward to cut her off from Issei. The bolts of condensed light energy came close, close enough to burn through the edge of her dress, but she had flinched at the last moment. That flinch made her spear miss me as well. It was scary how close we might have come to killing each other. I broke through the treeline once more, placing myself firmly between Raynare and Issei. Revolver raised just as Raynare formed another spear.

"Isao?" I couldn't risk the moment it would take to glance over at Issei. But I could practically hear the disbelief and panic in his voice. I couldn't blame him, all of this must be going right over his head. "Sorry, I can't explain right now. Just get out of the way." He didn't move, Issei was totally frozen where he was.

"Oh? Do you really think I'll allow either of you to leave?" Raynare's mocking tone was pretty annoying, but I didn't want to fight this battle if I didn't have to. I'd fought plenty of stray Devils, but I had never tangled with any kind of Angel. "I was kind of hoping you would. It seems like a waste of time to kill a kid who hasn't even chosen a side. Who knows, he might even have picked yours." She shrugged her shoulders lightly while answering, her tone of voice no less mocking. "Well we think he might be a problem down the line, so we decided to get rid of him early. You weren't supposed to be involved though. I guess you can blame the God that put the sacred gear inside him for all of this."

I scowled lightly. The way she said it, it sounded like she was just following orders. I couldn't hate her for that. But I would probably have to kill her, and fast. With that in mind I pictured a design of runes and symbols in my mind, linked to a single word. With an effort of will and a sliver of magical power I switched them on.

**"Thurisaz."**

Burning runes burst into life along the barrel of my revolver less than a moment before I pulled the trigger, amplifying the shot to the point where a direct hit could blow an inch wide hole through a tank before blinking out of existence. In the same instant Raynare threw her spear, the shot and the spear met in the air in a flash of light that would have blinded anyone unaccustomed to such displays. It was the starting signal for our battle.

But I couldn't go anywhere. I was effectively pinned in place by Issei behind me. All I could do was continue firing, but when Raynare simply summoned another spear and blocked my shots I realised that wouldn't do a damn thing. It was unreal how fast she could move with that spear. But that wasn't anything I hadn't encountered before. I just had to get closer.

She had the same thought, or maybe she just got bored, either way she extended her wings and launched herself at me when I took a step forward.

I didn't have time to do much. Ranged combat wouldn't go my way, but close quarters weren't ideal either. I only had time to switch my revolver to my left hand and draw my knife, a seven inch long KA-BAR. Raynare closed to near stabbing distance by the time I had drawn the knife. Logic dictated that when she lunged my flimsy knife wouldn't stop it.

**"Eihwaz."**

But logic decided to take a break when I triggered the rues on my blade, coating it in glowing silver characters. So when the blade of mine met the spear of Raynare's, it didn't break or melt on contact. The spear heading for my heart slid over the blade with a cascade of sparks as it was redirected over my shoulder. That didn't change the fact that my opponent as both faster and stronger than I was right now. It would take a half second for her to either force my knife aside or pull it back and stab me in the heart.

But I was accustomed to fighting such monsters. And it showed when Raynare realised my left hand was pointing a revolver right at her own heart. There was a moment of dawning comprehension on Raynare's face. Then the revolver roared with a trio of shots, each striking true. Raynare staggered back as I raised my revolver to put one right in her head. But before I could her unfurled wings launched her backwards, blowing dirt and dust into my face as she fled. I didn't know how much damage I had done, she landed in a half crouch about a hundred meters away. But I knew I hadn't finished her off when I heard the sound of laughter. Not a laughter of joy or amusement, but a nervous laugh born from a miraculous escape from death.

I looked behind me for a moment to check on Issei, he was still totally out of it. He reminded me of a soldier I once saw who stepped on a mine, the mine had been a dud but the close call had left the man virtually incapable of leaving camp. Then Raynare's laughter stopped with a sigh of relief. I turned back. "Ah, I was worried for a moment there. But it seems you're all bark and no bite..." She stood up, revealing that all I'd done was punch a hole in her dress and scorch her chest. Damn, I hadn't expected a fallen angel to be so resistant to light based attacks. I suddenly realised that our opening exchange would have ended only in my death if she hadn't flinched. "I guess humans really are worthless. Then again, that really hurt. I'll have to kill you slowly for that." That mocking smile of hers turned quite sadistic, it didn't faze me in the slightest. I'd fought scarier looking opponents.

She twirled her spear, I sheathed my knife. We both knew it would be easier for me to kill her with a blade than my guns, so she wouldn't let me use one. "Issei." I adressed him without turning back, I got no response. "Issei!" I tried shouting with the same result. So then I drew my second revolver, and with the first pointed in Raynare's direction I half-turned and fired a shot at his feet. "ISSEI!" He jumped a good three feet back, eyes wide in shock. Good, I had his attention. "Run." He paused for a moment, struggling to understand, then he ran. Instantly drawing Raynare's attention.

"Sorry, that won-"

**"Thurisaz."**

Raynare attempted to stop Issei, I violently interrupted her attempt to skewer him with a supercharged bolt of light. Normal shots might not be able to kill her, but those rune enhanced bolts would. So she was forced to block it, and in so doing destroy her own spear.

The look on her face when she faced me again clearly stated that she was now considering me to be a problem. She didn't know that trying to fire consecutive enhanced shots would warp the barrels of my revolvers, so she didn't know that she could probably force me to fire off my shots and then run off to catch Issei. Which meant that she had to keep me in sight.

That was good, it meant I'd be able to make full use of the surroundings without worrying about her bypassing me. So I naturally made a break for the treeline. The cross that I had been ignoring suddenly let out a shock, I probably ignored a handful earlier but this one was important. It told me to duck. I threw myself into a shoulder roll over to the side, rolling into a crouch near the edge of the path where I hastily brought up both revolvers to unload half a dozen snap shots. They weren't meant to hit, just to distract. And distract they did.

Raynare apparently had no desire to get hit again, taking to the sky wit a single beat of her wings. But that single beat gave me enough time to stand and make it the ten or so meters to the treeline.

I was betting on two things. First of all that an Angel's eyes aren't as well adapted to the dark as a Devil's. And secondly that one of these trees can stop a spear from a two-winged angel. I vaguely remember that they didn't quite make it all the way through Issei in the original story. A tree is a lot tougher. So the first thing I did was get behind one. That turned out to be the correct choice when I heard a *thunk* not far from my head.

The same instant I heard that noise, I holstered one revolver and adopted a firing position. Then sent for aimed shots down range. I didn't bother aiming for Raynare herself, she'd already shown she could block them. So I aimed for her wings. And from a barely audible hiss of pain, I think I got her. I just needed to convince her to come down here.

But before I could let loose more shots I saw light coalesce into another spear in her palm, that was my cue to move. So I sprinted to the next piece of cover. The process repeated. I'd take cover and bait out a shot so I could return fire before Raynare could form another spear and then move to the next piece of cover. I didn't have to worry about ammo, the shots from my revolver came from the light energy within myself. As a holy sword wielder, I had plenty to spare.

Raynare didn't quite have that kind of patience "Ah! Just stay still and die already!"

I responded with more gunfire.

It seemed appropriate.

But Raynare had definetely had enough. When I next tried to bait a shot by leaning out of cover, she was diving straight at me with her spear in hand. That would have been a good thing for me, if she wasn't just a couple of meters away. There was no time to draw my knife, no time to move. Only enough time to visualise the array I needed, and activate it.

**"Uruz."**

An array etched all along the inside of my combat outfit lit up with enough intensity to shine through the leather with a clear blue light. Meant solely to increase my physical abilities by effectively overclocking my body. In short, I get faster and stronger but it hurts like hell and my body overheats quickly. And it was still barely enough for me to bring up a revolver in time, the dull black barrel barely being strong enough to divert the initial blow before being cut in two. The second came up and I pulled the trigger as many times as I could as quickly as I could, getting off maybe ten useless shots before I was forced to sacrifice it in the same way as it's twin.

It bought me time though. Time enough to introduce my boot to the fallen angel's gut as I focused on bringing out my trump card.

**"Holy Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle..."**

The kick forced her back a few steps. In the same moment I drew my knife, tossing it slightly up out of the sheath so I could grab the blade.

**"Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the Devil..."**

I threw the blade, turning it into a silver blur that Raynare had no choice but to launch herself backwards to avoid.

**"May god rebuke him, we humbly pray; and do you, O prince of the heavenly host..."**

My now free hands moved quickly, drawing a circle into the air that brought forth an undoubtedly holy magic circle as Raynare stood.

**"By the power of God cast into hellSatan and all the evil spiritswho wander through the world seeking the ruin of souls..."**

My right hand reached into the circle, and grasped the tool I needed to be victorious just as Raynare prepared to throw her spear.

**"Amen!"**

I dragged the object out of the circle and swung it towards the spear Raynare was about to throw. There was a flash of silver, fire and light. And the weapon was laid bare. It was my rifle, a polished wood and black steel M14 rifle. I held it by the stock, just below the trigger, so that I could swing it in such a manner. Making use of the two foot long bayonet attached to the end and a sling along the underside. Etched into the side of the rifle were two words, 'Certa Cito'. Swift and sure.

But it was the bayonet that held Raynare's attention. It was a simple thing. Two feet of gleaming silver with a metal ring attaching it to the rifle and a hlt wrapped in white. Totally ordinary, if a bit long, but for two things. The unnatural radiance of a holy sword, and the golden fire leaking from it's blade.

There was recognition in Raynare's eyes. Recognition and understanding. Because it was well known that that bayonet had been a five foot sword not even a year ago, it was well known that it was broken by one of the most dangerous demonic swords in the world. And it was very well known that the wielder of that bayonet walked away from a battle with one of the most feared demonic sword wielders of this generation.

"Dyrnwyn." The name was almost a whisper of reverence. Recognising the sword for her must have been like a dog chasing a cat only to find out it's a lion.

I was really glad that people had a habit of exaggerating stories.

I pulled back the rifle so that I could grab it with my left hand just past the magazine, shifting my right hand so I could take control of the trigger.

Using every little bit of anger and frustration I had at this situation, at what Raynare was about to do, I roared out my challenge and thrust forward, "En Garde!" The stress of my rune enhanced body felt like a marathon with each twitch of my muscles, but the fiery bolt that my blade became made the pain and effort worth it. It streaked towards her heart at speeds well beyond anything a normal human could match unaided.

Despite that, Raynare was still a fallen angel. A creature beyond the natural limits of humans. So it wasn't unusual that even in her distracted state of mind she managed to form a spear to block. A hasty thing that shattered almost immediately, but it gave her a chance to stumble back a pace away from the tip of my blade.

I could work with that though. I pulled the trigger. The crack of my rifle echoed throughout the park as a fiery arrow of light energy erupted from the muzzle. The shot pierced clean through her right shoulder, instantly cauterising the wound as it passed through leaving a hole about the size of a tennis ball. Had she not stumbled back, she would be dead. Now she had only lost the use of her right arm.

The force of the shot turned her stumble into a tumble, she fell backwards onto the floor in an undignified heap.

I quickly stepped forward, rifle pulled back before lunging for a final strike. The blade came down, seeking the fallen angel's heart. Only to be denied once more when she grabbed the barrel of my rifle at the last moment with her only functioning arm, desperately pointing the weapon away from herself.

If she had been thinking clearly she might have been able to kick me away from her, but she was tired and in extreme pain. It was a miracle she had managed to stop me as she had. But it couldn't last, my own strength combined with the enhancement of Raidho was steadily overwhelming her. Bringing the rifle back towards her, millimeter by millimeter. We both knew it was only a matter of time. There was no possible way for her to get out of this on her own.

"Please..."

The sound of her voice drew my eyes from my blade, and onto her face.

"Don't."

And that look on her face, that terror. It made me pause. An instant that felt like a moment. It shouldn't have stopped me. I'd killed plenty of people before. But they had always been monsters or stray devils, creatures which were so disgusting that it wasn't possible for me to feel remorse for killing them. The rare occasion that I had been pitted against humans, I'd never actually known if I had been the one to kill them. It had been too far away and too fast for me to know, so they didn't bother me. But Raynare looked and acted almost totally human and she was so close, I would definetely know if I was the one to kill her.

And that moment was enough for my head to clear. I asked myself if I could kill her, if I could stab her with my holy bayonet and end her life. And even with that desperate look on her face, even with those pleas on her lips. I knew that I could.

But I didn't want to.

So I eased up on the pressure, and pulled my rifle back.

I never became a soldier to kill. I became a soldier to protect.

So when Raynare hastily scrambled backwards, I just walked away.

"Wait!"

I stopped, because for some reason she dragged up the courage to stop me.

"Why?"

The rest of the question didn't need to be asked. I didn't really have an answer though, just a half remembered passage from the bible that had always stuck with me. But I had to answer, so I shrugged my shoulders and gave what I had. "Faith, hope and love. I love the potential of the living, I hope they do great things with it and I have faith that they're all as capable of good as they are evil. Even you. Killing you would be such a waste." And somehow, that answer sounded right to me. The blade of my bayonet flared up in a brilliant display of holy fire before winking out, clearly showing it's approval. Dyrnwyn had always leant it's power to those with a good cause.

After delivering my answer, I continued to walk away. Ignoring the shouts of the fallen angel, even as they cycled from disbelief to anger. I had more important things to deal with right now. Like finding Issei.

As soon as I was sure I was out of Raynare's sight, I pulled out an old flip phone from one of my pouches and dialled home. It took until the third ring for Dad to pick up and after a quick conversation I confirmed that Issei hadn't gone home and that Dad would call me if he came back. Two more phone calls revealed that he hadn't showed up at his fellow pervert's homes.

With a heavy sigh I resigned myself to walking around town trying to find my panicked brother. He could be anywhere at all...

"Best to start with the adult stores."

It took more than an hour, starting with the adult stores before moving onto late night cafes of the questionable variety and finally Issei's favorite shopping area. But I eventually found him, just not where I'd expected him to be. To be fair I didn't know what I was expecting, I just checked all of the places he might normally hang out, so I was caught completely off guard when I saw him just sitting on a swing set in a park I was walking past. I had to double check that it really was Issei and that my eyes weren't playing tricks on me, it was pretty dark by now and he was looking down. But since it was Issei, I took the swing next to him. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what was going through his head or why he was even here, so I just stayed silent and waited for him to say something. It didn't take long for me to get bored and start using the swing I was sitting on.

"Hey, Isao." His voice sounded distant and tired, the sound of it made me stop swinging just so he knew I was paying attention.

"Hm?"

He paused for a moment, as if he didn't really know how to say what he was thinking. "You know, I used to really hate you."

Such a blunt confession threw me for a moment. It was completely out of the blue, and given recent occurrences made me a little worried. "Ah, I never noticed. Sorry."

I think Issei smiled a little, as though he already knew and found it amusing. "Yeah, you can be a bit dense sometimes. But can you blame me, for hating you? You were always better at everything. Always smarter, stronger, more mature. And everyone always used to compare us, even Mom and Dad."

I leaned back, suddenly feeling all forty odd of my years, and sighed. "Do you still hate me?"

Issei let out a short, sharp "ha" not quite a laugh, but a step in that direction. A though the answer should have been obvious, but it really wasn't. Not to me at least. "Do you remember what happened the last time we were here?"

Here? I looked around the park for a moment, it looked vaguely familiar. But I couldn't quite place it. It had been years since me and Issei had been to a park together. I'd never been that fond of them. "The place rings a bell, but I can't say I remember."

Issei really did laugh this time, actually looking up as he did. He'd been crying, if his eyes were anything to go by. "Of course you don't... What was his name? Tadashi? Taiki? Something like that, but you were getting ice cream when a bunch of kids started bullying me. Do you remember what happened?"

Ah, I remember now. Tadashi, or whatever his name had been decided to have a little fun at Issei's expense with his friends. The memory brought a smile to my face. "Yeah, I remember now."

Issei laughed again, clearly enjoying the memory. "I was surprised, you know. You just came out of nowhere and decked the biggest one. I thought you were going to get your ass kicked."

I laughed in response. "I didn't expect you to jump right in either, I think it caught the other kids off guard too."

He was definetely smiling as he talked now. "Yeah, well I couldn't sit back while you were fighting for me. What kind of a brother would do that?"

I started swinging again, enjoying the conversation even though I knew it wouldn't last. "We were messed up after that, but the other kids got it worse right?"

Issei looked down a little while responding. "Yeah. I remember you took the blame for it too. "Then he looked straight at me. "How could I hate you after that?" But for some reason he frowned after saying it. "Hey..." He tapped the side of his face. "You're bleeding."

"Huh?" I raised my hand to check, and my cheek was in fact bleeding. Actually now that I'm checking there are a couple of nicks that managed to get through my outfit scattered around here and there. I hadn't even noticed, so they were probably fine.

Issei sighed. "Yeah, this is just like then isn't it? Except this time I couldn't do anything at all."

He had such a forlorn expression on his face that I couldn't have abandoned him even if I wanted to. And it made me glad that I saved him, I'd hate to think how badly it would have hurt him if he found out that I could have saved him but didn't.

So I made the obvious choice. I stopped the swing, stood up, then offered my hand to Issei.

"Come on, let's go home. I'll tell you what's going on."

Issei smiled as he grabbed my hand and hauled himself off the swing.

And then we started making our way home.

"Of course you realise I'm going to be dragging you into my training from now on, right?"

Issei's frantic shouts that he wanted nothing to do with my infernal training regime and not wanting to die before graduating high school brought a welcome sense of normalcy.

I decided to enjoy it while I could.


End file.
